Asking for a favor

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Asking for a favor is never just about the favor–it's about refusal, reciprocity, and subtle hints.

According to extra materials, people in a Japanese society rarely say "no" directly when someone asks for help. Tbh, it's the same in China. We grow up hearing, "Save face for others," which basically means: don't slam a door in someone's face with an explicit "no". Reading the room is quite a good quality–sometimes too much. Some people care so much about not hurting others' feelings that they end up stepping on their own. Luckily, this doesn't happen to me often. 

Personally, I prefer dropping hints rather than blurting out what I need. Maybe it's cultural, because we feel awkward imagining we might interrupt others' peace. By the way, when we do ask for favors, we usually put our palms together🙏, just like this, instead of bowing like Japanese or doing nothing specific like people in western countries.

Besides, as I am not one of those "Why bother yourself when you can bother someone else?" types. Most of the time, I handle troubles by myself. That's also why saying "no" is pretty easy for me...

So next time I bother you, congratulations! You must be really special and reliable.

评论

  1. 匿名2025年7月14日 23:11

    What a beautifully honest reflection. I love how you’ve captured the delicate dance around asking for favors in cultures that value saving face, it’s so true that a “no” is rarely direct, and reading between the lines becomes almost an art. Your point about sometimes stepping on your own feelings to protect others really hits home.

    Also, the bit about putting your palms together made me smile, such a small, graceful gesture that carries so much meaning.

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